


Download Failed

by koleen



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Sexual Humor, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-18
Updated: 2015-11-18
Packaged: 2018-05-02 05:08:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5235341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koleen/pseuds/koleen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Somebody new moves into the flat beside Phil’s. He didn’t really care about it at first but when he discovers that his new neighbor has been stealing his wifi, he started to get annoyed, but he wasn’t one for any confrontation so he let it slide. But then his neighbor started moaning loudly next door, and Phil knew he’s had enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Download Failed

“Any second now…” Phil said to himself out loud, focused on the screen of his laptop, biting his lower lip in concentration.

 

He's been trying to illegally download all the seasons of FRIENDS for a few days now, the total file size over 100 GB. He's been stressing over it the entire week because the download was taking so long due to how big the total file size is, and it didn't help that in multiple instances, his oh so unstable internet connection kept making him anxious because it thought it was being funny whenever it suddenly cut off for a minute at a time, making Phil panic, then working properly again in a few minutes, which is a good thing, but Phil's stress levels were already off the charts by the time it fixes itself.

 

_99.2% Downloaded..._

 

"Okay,” Phil murmured, eyes focused on his uTorrent window.  _“Any_  second now."

If he was going to be completely honest, he was quite nervous for obvious reasons (the damn unstable internet). You can say it was irrational, but damn was he passionate about his illegal TV series collection.

 

_99.8% Downloaded..._

 

He started to loosen up, letting out a very audible sigh, rubbing his hands together and preparing to organize the filenames as soon as the torrent finishes downloading.

 

_99.9% Downloaded..._

 

He smiles.  _I can't wait to binge watch FRIENDS again,_ he thought.

 

_Download failed. Error: Files corrupted due to internet failure. Retry download?_

 

Phil winces.

 

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" he shouted, hands balling into fists in anger, his face turning red. He nearly tossed his laptop off his lap, upset at the sudden turn of events. He immediately checked his internet connection, and to his dismay, a small yellow triangle with an exclamation point was stuck to the wifi icon.  _Unstable connection._

 

"I want to  _kill_ ," he said angrily, although a bit more calmly. He immediately thought to call his internet service provider to know why his internet keeps failing him even though it promised that it would be 100% reliable, but then he realized it was already 2 AM and all their offices are probably already closed so his call would have to wait 'til the morning.

 

"God damn it," he mumbled. He  _really_ wanted to resolve the issue immediately so he tried to disconnect from his wifi and then reconnect again. Gladly, it worked and he finally got to connect to the internet again, although it was still kind of slow even though he's the only one using it.

 

 _What if someone's stealing my wifi, though,_ he thought to himself, growing suspicious all of a sudden. 

 

Right away, he looked up ways to discover if there's anyone leeching off his wifi. After reading a few tutorials and trying them out, he found out there was one computer connected to his internet connection, and upon further research, he managed to trace the IP address, which was kind of stupid of him to do as he literally lives in a small two story building that only consisted of four flats, two on each floor. He was pretty sure it was his next door neighbor, who just moved in about a week before, leeching off his wifi. (His old neighbor got kicked out by the landlord for accidentally punching a hole in the wall. Long story.)  _THEY MOVED IN ABOUT A WEEK AGO,_  Phil thought.  _THAT'S WHY MY INTERNET HAS BEEN SO UNSTABLE._

 

Phil was absolutely baffled about what the hell was his neighbor could be possibly doing with the stolen internet because his friends use his wifi all the time when they come over but they don't actually  _cause_ problems with the connection. He also wants to know how in the world the thief managed to start stealing his internet in the first place since it was password protected. Rolling his eyes and giving up because his mind just can't handle anymore thinking due to exhaustion, he shut his laptop, deciding that he'll leave the issue alone and save it for the morning as he was already so tired and badly needed sleep.

 

But before going to bed, he had an idea which he figured would be interesting to carry out. Immediately, he turned the wifi router off and rapidly ran to plant his ear against the wall he shared with his next door neighbor, expecting to hear some kind of reaction from the other flat. Sadly, he heard nothing.

 

Still mildly annoyed, he finally tucked himself into bed and shut his eyes, trying his best to clear his mind and relax. But, while trying to drift off to sleep, he suddenly realized he didn't know what his new neighbor actually looked like because he was almost always just inside his flat, only going out to buy some takeaway when he wasn't in the mood to cook or order pizza. He only found out that someone new moved in when he passed by the neighboring flat's door, noticing that there was a new sign saying "KEEP OUT" stuck on it, which was edgy, but downright embarrassing.

 

"I'll get you tomorrow, I swear," he murmured, walking back to his bedroom, eyebrows furrowed in annoyance.

 

He dreamt about having fast internet that night. Too bad it was only just a dream, and it would probably stay like that as long as he kept believing the capitalists who made him think he's going to get his money's worth. Not to mention his new neighbor wasn't helping at all.

 

 

-

 

The next morning was quite peaceful for Phil. He woke up feeling refreshed despite getting only six hours of sleep, waking up at half past 8 AM. He made some coffee and ate some Shreddies, and watched a few illegally downloaded episodes of Tokyo Ghoul on his bed afterwards. He would start his day immediately after breakfast during normal circumstances, but with his job as a writer for a biweekly zine he made with his friends PJ and Wirrow that unexpectedly got popular and being a small Youtuber on the side, he never had to rush with starting the day nor leaving the house if he didn’t want to.

 

“Nice,” Phil commented upon seeing that his internet connection’s speed improved a bit for the morning. _They’re probably still asleep that’s why they aren’t leeching off my wifi yet._

Phil worked on his articles on his bed until noon, still in his pajamas, taking a break to get some lunch. He didn’t really use the internet that much during the time he was writing, so it surprised him when a Youtube video he was trying to watch over lunch kept on buffering.

 

“I guess they’re awake,” he muttered, brows furrowing in annoyance.

 

He didn’t really like confrontation, so he decided he won’t talk to his neighbor just yet. Instead, he just looked up more ways to try and stop them from leeching off his wifi.

 

He changed the wifi password, and that worked for a good hour, before his internet started to go slow again. He changed it again, and while he was at it, he looked up how to see what his internet was being used for. After like 30 whole minutes of searching and poking around his Google search results, he found a tutorial on how to see the webpages visited using his internet.

 

“Gotcha.”

 

Phil finally accessed the list of webpages, and it took all his strength not to start crying because his stomach was hurting so much, trying his best not to laugh.

 

 _My thief of a neighbor used my internet to torrent every single Disney and Disney Pixar movie in existence,_ he thought, and that made him burst out laughing, the whole building probably thinking he was getting out of his mind.

 

He was still kind of annoyed because that would explain why his own downloads won’t work properly, but he can’t help but laugh at his neighbor’s choices. They risked fighting whoever they were stealing from just to get their Disney movies, which was so stupid to the point that it was so funny to Phil.

 

“God, is my neighbor a 7 year old child,” Phil said, chuckling to himself. He shook his head, still smirking at the window showing the webpages. It was already 3 PM, and Phil decided he’s just going to sort through the list, laughing his ass off every single time he read a funny webpage his neighbor visited. He started to feel a bit creepy when he read some porn websites that showed exactly which videos his neighbors watched, although that made him conclude that his neighbor was probably another man with the amount of college orgy, big busted women, and school girl videos they went through in the span of a week, all of them visited from 3 AM onwards. _Yikes, I should really start turning off my wifi router before I go to sleep._

For about an hour, Phil just went through his neighbor’s web history, feeling slightly guilty, but hey, he was amused and his neighbor _did_ steal from him so they should’ve thought about it first before hacking Phil’s wifi.

 

Phil had a slight heart attack when the list refreshed on its own, because for about 30 minutes, the latest activity was just a news article about Kanye West running for president. His internet started to go a bit slower again just like every afternoon, and Phil figures it’s probably because so many people served by his internet service provider were using the internet at the same time as him and his neighbor.

 

“Sheesh, what the hell is he doing now—OH MY GOD.”

 

Phil tried his best to keep his voice down, but he couldn’t help himself because he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. His neighbor was watching porn again. But this time it was gay porn.

 

“Oh no,” Phil started tapping on his keyboard frantically, determined to change his wifi password again. But it was too late because the moaning from the other flat already started, and he thinks, _WHERE IS THE SHAME, HE PROBABLY KNOWS PEOPLE CAN HEAR HIM, IT’S STILL THE DAMN AFTERNOON FOR GOD’S SAKE BUT THAT’S KINDA HOT TO BE HONEST._

_What?_

“No way. Nope,” Phil said out loud. His neighbor continued to moan loudly, sounding so—

 

“NOPE!” Phil shut his laptop, standing up from his bed, slightly flustered. He was getting hard because of the sounds, and his gay ass doesn’t want that at like five in the afternoon. Nope.

 

He paced around in his room, deciding on what to do. The moans got progressively louder by the second, and when Phil has had it, he threw his arms in the air and said, “That’s it. That’s it, I’m kinkshaming.”

 

Without thinking about it any further, he rushed out of his flat and stood in front of his neighbor’s door, knocking loudly while the man inside the flat was still moaning. _WHY THE HELL IS HE TAKING SO LONG. I MEAN, HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE FOR SOMEONE TO GET O—_

“Yes?” somebody suddenly said, and Phil realized he’s literally knocking on air, preoccupied with his own thoughts of frustration. When he finally stopped spacing out, he got to take in the image that was in front of him.

 

His neighbor was completely naked except for his boxers, and he didn’t have a lot of muscles, but Phil had to admit his body looked good. He was tan and a little taller than him, and he had brown hair and brown eyes and an overall good-looking face. Phil started to scan his neighbor’s body again mindlessly, eyeing him from head to to— _what is that on his stomach, why does it look sticky, what the actual f—_

“Um, excuse me?” the neighbor spoke again, smirking, interrupting Phil’s thoughts. Phil snapped out of his little trance, pretending to have a coughing fit while fixing his own fringe, getting flustered. It took everything for him not to run away in embarrassment or start digging a hole where he stood so he can hide. Or die away.

 

“Er, yeah, sorry about that. I’m just going to g—“

 

“You were knocking on my door so loudly, though. I thought you were getting chased by an axe murderer,” the neighbor commented, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorway, looking at Phil with pure amusement. “Surely you were going to tell me something?”

 

Phil’s face went hot in shame, but he thought _, whatever, I’m already here._

“Alright,” Phil responded, coughing before proceeding. “I found out you were stealing my internet and I was annoyed but I hated confrontation so I let it go. But just a few minutes ago you were kinda making so much noise and it was very inconvenient for me.”

 

His neighbor laughed out loud all of a sudden, making Phil jump a little. Phil glared at him, confused, waiting for him to stop. When he finally did, his eyes focused on something that wasn’t Phil’s face anymore.

 

“Well,” he started, a smirk evident on his lips, “ _Clearly_ it was really inconvenient for you.”

 

Phil was confused for a second, but his neighbor raised an eyebrow and nodded his head towards Phil’s crotch. It took Phil five seconds to process what’s happening, and when he finally _felt_ the situation trying to poke out of his pajamas, he immediately covered his crotch with his hands, his head starting to feel light with so much blood rushing to his cheeks.

 

“Listen!” Phil exclaimed, dying of embarrassment. “I don’t know what you’re playing at but just stop it. Just stop stealing my internet and get your o—“

 

“Daddy,” his neighbor interrupted, taking Phil aback.

 

“W-What?”

 

“You like being called daddy.”

 

Phil’s face turned even redder, and he didn’t know that was possible but it did. He needed to stop the man.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talki—“

 

“You also liked bondage. And being loud,” his neighbor continued, looking smug. “Is that correct?”

 

“LISTEN, I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE PLAYING AT BUT—“

 

“I’m right, aren’t I?” his neighbor probed, chuckling. “Did my loud moaning work? Oh wait, we’ve been over this. _It clearly did.”_

Phil was stunned silent, and he just looked at his neighbor curiously, the shame making him numb. “Fine. I’m just going to throw my shame out the window because _clearly_ you’re just going to keep going on if I turn a deeper shade of red one more time.” His neighbor laughed at that but Phil didn’t, proceeding to ask a question, dead serious. “How did you even know those things?” 

 

“Simple. I did what you did.”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

“Of course you do. Didn’t you see my web history?” his neighbor asked so casually.

 

“Well yeah, but I didn’t really mean to,” Phil admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

 

“Me neither, I just wanted to steal your internet, but I accidentally saw yours… you know, I’m in the field of IT and all. I overkill it sometimes and it was one of those times.”

 

“So… So you’re saying you saw everything?” Phil asked nervously.

 

His neighbor smiled, nodding. “Yep.”

 

“Oh, alright,” Phil responded, trying his best not to lose it. _This is the single most embarrassing thing that’s happen to me in my entire life, I want to die. Haha!_ “I will go, then. I think I made it clear now that I don’t want you stealing my internet?”

 

“Uhuh,” his neighbor replied, smiling. “By the way, sorry about the moaning. I kind of saw you the other day but you didn’t know I was your new neighbor, and I found you hot, then I found out you were gay from the landlord. And also single. I’m bisexual, btw, if you were wondering about all the other things I searched on Pornhub.”

 

Phil’s jaw dropped at the sudden string of words that came out of his neighbor’s mouth. “Are you kidding me? Do you think this is funny?”

 

“Nope. I’m just trying to be straightforward and also just to get it out of the way.”

 

Phil’s mouth still hung open, unable to comprehend. “If you really liked me like you’re telling me right now, why couldn’t you be a normal person and just knock on my door or something?”

 

His neighbor laughed, a dimple popping out of his cheek in the process. _Well, that’s cute._ “I could’ve done that, to be honest. But where was the excitement in that?”

 

Phil finally managed to laugh with him, smiling. “You’re so fucking creepy, you know.”

 

“Well, true. But you also like me so.”

 

“Who told you that?”

 

“Your dick.”

 

Phil would’ve gotten embarrassed again, but at that point, he was already numb from all the shame he felt in the last few minutes of talking to his neighbor. So instead, he just raised an eyebrow, smirking. “Well, he says sorry for being such a snitch.”

 

“Did you just call your dick a “he”?” his neighbor asked, smirking.

 

“Yup,” Phil said, trying his best to be brave. “Want me to introduce you to him face to face?”

 

His neighbor went silent, and for a moment, Phil was worried he went too far. But all his worries went away when he got pulled into his neighbor’s flat in a matter of seconds, and said neighbor was biting his neck and shoving his hand down Phil’s pajamas as he moaned.

 

“Fuck, you’re so hot,” his neighbor moaned against Phil’s lips, full on making out with him.

 

“Thanks,” Phil moaned back, reciprocating the kiss. “This,” he breathed. “Is kinda,” he moaned, his neighbor’s hand cupping his butt. “Awkward.”

 

“Why?” his neighbor breathed out, eyes clouded with lust. _Shit._

“We aren’t even on first name basis yet,” Phil blurted out, while his neighbor’s lips was working swiftly with his neck.

 

“Oh,” his neighbor replied, chuckling before sucking on Phil’s collarbones again. “W-Well,” he continued. “I’m Dan.”

 

“I’m Phil, n-nice to meet you,” Phil replied, moaning, feeling Dan’s hand stroke his dick. “Alright, Dan. That’s—OH!—Good enough for now— _Shit_.”

 

“I-I—AH!—agree,” Dan responded, feeling Phil’s hand reach inside his boxers as well.

 

“By the w-way, I never told you this, b-but,” Phil took Dan’s face into his hand and moaned against his lips. “I think we’re into the same t-things. I s-saw your—AH!—webpage history remember. So—“

 

“Is t-that why you went to me?” Dan asked, biting into Phil’s lower lip.

 

“N-Not really, but I guess I s-subconsciously did it for t-that reason as well.”

 

“Ni—AH!—ice. Let’s talk m-more later. I…” Dan trailed, his eyes fluttering shut. “I think it’s time for you to introduce me with…” Dan paused, stroking Phil’s dick and running his thumb against the slit, making Phil’s breath hitch.

 

“I think it’s time for me to meet _this guy_ over here.”


End file.
